Sep 24, 2005

Love and the Assassin

I despise Matthew McConaughy (sp?). Imagine liking a girl from afar and working slowly to gain her respect and trust, only to have Smooth Matt drive his motorcycle right between the two of you, pull off his helmet and shake his golden brown locks, before turning on the faky charm and southern drawl to sweep her off her feet.

I'd be a little T.O.ed, myself. See, I don't see Matt as any kind of realistic Mr. Right for all the searching women out there. I see him as the wolf in GQ clothing. His style is much more insidious than that of a wold: he's got the glinty eyes and oily demeanor of a stone-hearted predator. Like a sable, prized for his looks and grace, but really a killing machine.

In pondering my distaste for his character, it struck me that he's really good at irritating guys like me, and that could be used to great effect in a movie. For best effect, Matt would be the villain, infuriating some average guy with sensibilities similar to mine.

Enter Arthur Pal, a bright, handsome, young diplomat (see the similarities to me?), fully enjoying life in his New York highrise apartment. He loves his job: it's prestigious, meaningful and high-paying. There is an added hop to his step that could only be attributed to youthful love; yes, he's just met a girl. She lives in the apartment next door. She works a simple job, but she's obviously a little lonely, and very appreciative of Arthur's friendship. He helps her with her little balcony flowerpot garden. They hit it off.

Enter Bill, the new neighbour, played with oozing charm by Matt. Bill is an assassin. Not a bloody one. He deals in poisons. He doesn't believe in causing pain. He's guarded with this information. He calls himself a freelance public relations consultant, but he says he wants to retire and settle down. He wants to buy a vineyard and make wine.

Both Bill and Arthur think the girl would make a fine lifelong companion.

If anything like a plot develops, or any kind of personality for the girl, I may try and turn this into a screenplay.

3 comments:

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